My source of joy - Baby #12

Tears stilled flowed from my eyes every day of every week.  I visited the graveyard more than three time's a week, yet sometimes it just makes the reality worst. People remind me that I have hope for the future. That I still have my other 9 children. That my challenge won't end yet. Rubbing the last of my tears with the back of my hand, I knew that I would pick up the pieces of my life and move on. But that's easier said than done.

The beach was one of my favorite places in Sunset Valley. In the summer's of my childhood, I'd stay with my grandma and we'd take her old truck out for a drive and end up at the beach. My grandma still lived, but in Twinbrook. I always came to the beach to be closer to her, in my heart.
But I didn't expect today's visit to be any more special than the rest. I saw a man, with the darkest of blue skin, and the most beautiful white hair I'd ever seen. But he was shunned by most people; they thought he was insane. In my book, no one is insane.

It was impulsive, yes, And could be classified as "inappropriate". But I knew that he and I both needed some comfort. So I kissed him.

The funny thing was; he kissed me back. I'd half-expected a slap (who wouldn't), or some real harsh words on how inappropriate and crazy I was, but who knew this is what one gets!
"Avi Sinric," he said in slightly accented English. It was his name, I realized a second later.

I had no idea what had happened when I got up and he left.
"I pray that I didn't just do something stupid..."
I only remember a flurry of tears and confessions, telling him about my challenge... I told him about my challenge? "Ugh, I can't do anything right! One doesn't just bring that up, right out of nowhere!"

Accepting my actions and whatever the consequences, the park seemed like my only escape out of my emotions. The piano was a new hobby of mine, yet it didn't have the same melody as the guitar. The steady beat and the rhythm of it, made the guitar my favorite instrument.

There was a girl, with a toddler at the park. I recognized them as part of the French household. But the sight of the little tot, eagerly wanting attention from it someone.. It was to adorable for words.

"Hi, excuse me...," I ticked the girl on her shoulder to grab her attention, and offered her my hand to shake.
"I'm Destiny Rose.. I noticed you were taking care of that little girl. Would you mind.. Could I have a minute with her? I could feed her her bottle, if you'd like."
"Oh my gosh, your a lifesaver! That little tot is quite a handful!" the teenager exclaimed.
"I know what you mean," I added with a smile. "I had 11 toddlers of my own once."
"Then you have guts! But sure, you care take care of the little one. I'm gonna go chat with my friends. Be right back."

Being able to pick the little girl up whose name I didn't know and whose parents I had even less knowledge of, was the biggest joy I've had in a while.

Carmen called me over, a very worried look in her blue eyes.
"You looked stressed," I tried joking. 

"Stressed! That's the understatement of the year... Maybe not.  Sky at work had this one episode and...never mind. We've all been very worried about you. You never returned any of our calls. But we thought you wanted to be alone, so we never visited.."
Geez. I never knew I had had THAT kinds impact on my friends and family. How many messages did I have on my phone that I didn't know of? That I never checked?

My hands circled my head in a attempt to show her how I felt.
"I've been a little crazy, I know. But I think I'm getting better. There's hope, you were right. I think I'll be able to move.. But it'll take a while, " I declared.

We hugged and said our goodbyes, and I drove home in my not-so-permanent-car. I sold my last house as quickly as possible, and moved downtown to a two story house. I don't think I'll stay in it much longer. It's two big for myself, but two small for a family.. 

Avi was staying over. It was, in a very weird way, comforting to have him. I felt safer with someone around the house.

It was pretty awkward at times. Sometimes we'd glance at each other, and then we'd quickly look away. But he was such a wonder to look at, it was hard keeping my eyes away.
"Where does your blue skin come from...?" I once asked him softly.
"You'd have to ask my mother!" he laughed.

"Eugh, I ate something bad..."
Or maybe... That one night, it might not just not have been kissing and confessions. Did it go that far that baby 12 was to come?

A quick shower and a brush of the teeth was all I needed to be squeaky clean and to have a long lasting minty breath.

"Oh, Destiny. What have you gotten yourself into now...?" I scowled at myself in the mirror.
What had I gotten myself into?

Napping was my way of escaping reality, even if it was for a little while. But such naps doesn't last forever, and then you have to get up and face the world again. But it was a surprise to wake up with a small baby bump.

"Such a beautiful day. Perfect to be out and about in the sun." The view from my room window was pretty exceptional, and it felt as if I could see the entire world.

I was right. It was a exceptional day to be outside, to lounge in the sun and just watch the sun set over Sunset Valley, set over the waves of the ocean. I had a smile on my lips the entire day.

This was the second night I drove back home late at night in the same week. But there was nothing to do at home, unless I wanted to be stuck in a awkward conversation with Avi again.

Sitting down to read felt normal enough to do before I finally get a good night's rest. Being heavily pregnant does take it's toll on one's body. And I was kinda paranoid that I was picking up extra weight along with the pregnancy. It may be time to whip out the old running shoes again. But no sooner than later did I have to swing my legs of the bed and get up, because..

Labor had struck! I was all alone, thank goodness. No one was there to freak out. And, most importantly, no one was there to see me freak out. 

All too soon the familiar sense of sparkles surrounded me. It was so ticklish!

Welcome Abigail Rose!

I gave birth to a healthy, normal looking girl, whom I named Abigail. 'Abigail' means 'source of joy' in Hebrew. Little Abigail was my source of joy, that day, the next, and the rest of forever.

Thank you for reading! If you have any complaints, criteria, name suggestions, storyline suggestions, or anything like that, I would deeply appreciate it, as I love feedback!